Lights, Camera, Action!

In my previous post, we established where the circus was and identified who the clowns were. This time, I wanted to touch on the scenes and here are my 4 favorite ones-

1. The reflex that expels intestinal gas through the anus

In normal people’s language- the fart. You begin to smell it. You try not to make a big deal of it, hoping it will go away. It doesn’t. You don’t wanna be the first one to call it (the rules of middle school still apply). It’s too late. Your facial expression gives it away and the person you’re dancing with smells it too. Listen, I know it’s not you. But if you ever decided to let one rip, please realize how awkward and unpleasant you are making it for me.

2. The moment of truth

Ah, 3:00 a.m. Time to leave the club. The lights come on. Shit… THAT’s who I’ve been making out with for the past hour? What you decide to do beyond this point strictly depends on how drunk/desperate you are. Hey, I’m not judging.

3. The unnecessary exposure

Remember the super drunk, super hot blonde dancing on the table and teasing everyone 3 hours earlier? She’s had too many vodka cranberries and suddenly it hits you. You were right… that WAS a top she’s wearing, not a dress. If I had a dollar for every “almost crotch” I saw, I’d be one rich bitch.

4. The last minute fight

You wait in line to get your coat. One Italian guy will pick a fight with one whatever (most often Arab) guy for accidentally making eye contact. They both know very well that the actual fight will never happen. If you’re anything like me, you’re smiling and thinking to yourself “fight, fight, fight”. If you will be rooting, take into account that any Italian guy’s strength is determined by the number of gold chains and rings he’s wearing. Choose wisely.

Am I overly observant or is that what you see too? What are other classical acts of clowning have you observed lately?